Welcome to the beginner’s quick start guide to starting out in findom. This guide will help you set up for success whether you’re a Financial Dominant, Dominatrix, or Adult Content Creator. If you don’t need the full guide, you can head over to the list of referral links and resources. This page contains a list of content sites, ongoing education resources, and helpful tools.
Many of the below links are referral links for myself or a friend with the platform mentioned; by using those links to sign up, that creator is getting a small kickback at no cost to you. It’s a small way to thank us for sharing this resource.
This resource is free to you— tips are always appreciated but not expected. Using the referral links to sign up for anything you decide to utilize is the very least you can do. It doesn’t cost you anything, in some cases it prioritizes your application in the platforms queues, and it gives myself or another creator recognition for helping share the platform within this guide.
Table of Contents / Jump To:
Step One: Persona & Stage Name
Build your persona. Decide on a stage name (DO NOT USE YOUR REAL/LEGAL NAME). You’ll want this so you can try to keep your links consistent in later steps. It’s also a good idea to check and see if this stage name is being utilized already. You can always go for something basic and simple like “Princess Rose” or “Goddess Mia” and that’s completely valid—it will help disguise your identity because there will be a hundred others with the same name, but it will also make it harder for you to stand out and be the person fans think of when they think of the name. There will be competition.
Weigh out your priorities and let those guide you in your decision-making. If you’re worried about discovery by loved ones or a vanilla job, lean towards being less discoverable by Google search if someone finds out your persona. Use something more vague. If that’s not a concern, go for something more unique and suited for creating a whole brand out of.
Make sure to pick something that you won’t mind keeping for a while. This is your identity! Your persona! While you can change it down the road if you want to, it’s usually easier and more streamlined to keep the same one. It also means you’re not re-scrambling for a new handle on your platforms.
Do not ever upload documents without your legal name censored out to unsecured spaces.
Naming Conventions
There are a couple of primary naming conventions: a first and last name for your stage name (which is the route I went) or an honorific and first name. If you’re aiming to stand out and be identifiable/build a brand, you’ll want to have a full stage name of some sort– not just an honorific and first name. There’s no wrong choice– it depends on your goals and what feels right to you. This is an extension of you, but it’s also a persona. My recommendation is to find something that feels almost aspirational for the part of yourself you most want to embody, but still true to you.
Honorifics
If you’re not sure about Honorifics, you can read more information in this guide on Medium by The Bratty Cat. Honorifics are an important part of dynamic protocol, and in having your submissives address you appropriately and with respect. You can utilize or accept multiple honorifics, but you do want to be clear on which ones you don’t like. Do not allow a sub to call you anything they want. It’s a sign of disrespect and you deserve to be respected. Cut ’em off with a block and move on.
Step Two: Create A Business Email
Create an e-mail address to use for your sex work. This should utilize your stage name, be completely separate from your vanilla accounts, and be used for creating all of your SW profiles and pages. While you can utilize Gmail or any other regular e-mail site, many have stipulations against sex work and can shut down your account (effectively locking you out of many platforms) without notice if they discover your usage. Check Terms of Service specifically for their guidance on “adult content.”
My recommendation (and what I’ve been using for over a year) is Proton.me. It is secure and encrypted, they have a free tier, and they also have paid tiers. Their software is a simpler Google Suite with a password manager, file drive, calendar, etc. I only use the e-mail and file drive 99% of the time, but those are well worth it. I recommend the paid tier for 500GB of file storage if you plan to regularly create content. If you don’t plan to create much content, you should have plenty of space with the free version.
Keep in mind that content isn’t just creating explicit porn videos— it’s any media you are posting on your account that you may want to reuse. Selfies, voice memos, etc that could be sold or re-used. Don’t feel like you have to remake the wheel everytime. Work smarter, not harder.
Step Three: Guide For Age Verification
Before you start interacting or participating in findom or sex work, you need to have age verification already set up and approved. Don’t have it? Don’t start working in sex work. It can take anywhere from a few minutes to a few days to get your AV (this is the popularized shorthand for age verification) approved. During that time, you should set up your social accounts, payout methods, etc. Some popular options for age verification include:
While other sites will age verify, the above are the most common and easiest on others checking to see that you are age verified. To age verify on these sites, you will sign up as a creator and be required to send in legal documentation to prove your age. Follow the guides of the site and don’t speed through the process; many people end up not paying attention and get denied, dragging the whole thing out. If you don’t have the patience to do it properly, you are not cut out for findom and sex work.
Do not ever upload documents without your legal name censored out to unsecured spaces. Protect your identity. Protect your information. Do not share your ID or photos of your ID with people unless it’s someone you know and trust and the other proven verification methods aren’t feasible (which should be rarely, if ever).
Use Your AV To Create Passive Income
If you don’t plan on creating content, you do not have to add content to these sites. You can simply have your active, creator account to show you have been age verified. However, it is recommended to use these platforms and at least have PPV content there. I batch upload and schedule out content for the next month or two. Just have it scheduled to post once a week or once every two weeks.
If someone stumbles on your account, they’ll know you aren’t entirely inactive and there’s a chance you’ll have items purchased and/or new subscribers and/or tips coming in. This can create passive income (income that requires some level of upfront work, but little to no maintenance), which is what we want. You want to guide potential submissives and clients to your central link hub or payout methods so that they can utilize them.
I also have accounts on 10 or so content sites not linked on my website, with a few PPV items uploaded. I don’t actively advertise them because they don’t get regularly updated, but I still average an extra $20/mo or so between all of them. It’s not a lot, but I’m not doing any active work to get it.
Step Four: Create A “Home Base” Link Hub
Create a centralized link management space. The most popular options include:
Think of this as your main business card/hub. Anytime you create a profile somewhere for your findom or sex work, you want to add the link to this centralized place. This helps in case of fake accounts trying to use your identity (you can remind people that if it’s not linked from this page, it’s not one of yours) and serves as an identity verification.
You’ll want to link any active social media accounts, content sites, and other profiles so that your fans can find them. You will also want to put the link to this space in all of your profiles. It links everything together and ensures that fans can find you and where to tip you. It helps keep you organized as well. Think of this as a central hub for your work. Think of it as a guide so that potential submissives and clients can find you even if one of your other accounts gets deleted or shut down.
MAKE SURE YOUR AGE VERIFICATION LINK/SITE IS EASY TO LOCATE ON YOUR LINK HUB. Make sure your age verification properly links to your profile. If the link is website.com/profile, it’s going to route you to a page on the website, not your profile. Typically, a profile link will be something like website.com/yourusername or include another unique identifier.
Always, always, always (I cannot stress this enough) double-check your links after updating your link hub. Use a incognito browser to navigate to your hub and click on your links to ensure they direct users to the correct space. You don’t want to miss out on potential sends or followers because your links weren’t working properly.
Step Five: Guide To Social Media
Create your social media accounts. You’ll want to try to keep your handles consistent across the board, and it never hurts to also create backup accounts with a slightly altered but consistent version on each. Not all of these platforms allow adult content, but they are all useful in advertising and helping subs find you. You want to funnel them through these popular places and onto your paid sites or into your payment methods, even if you aren’t actively engaging in Adult Content on the platforms specifically. Platforms I use and see used often include:
Prepping Your Socials For Use
You do not have to worry about setting up every account all at once. I would recommend creating the account with the bare minimum info while you reserve your handle on all the platforms, getting the link into your link management space of choice, and then sorting out your marketing plan (we’ll go over that in a bit) before doing up your profile. Until you have your AV ready you should not start working and posting. You also don’t need to be an expert in all of these platforms. Just get your handle reserved, save your link so you don’t forget what you have, and then make sure you feel comfortable with the amount of places you’ve created.
You don’t need every single platform, to advertise every platform, or to be active on every single one, but I recommend creating an account to save your handle and ensure it’s available if you ever decide to fully embrace that platform. I found my stage name to be taken on Instagram when I went to utilize it, by a vanilla account that hadn’t been posted in several years; even if you feel your stage name is unique, it still might be taken. So just go reserve it while you can.
Step Six: Building Your Bios
Create a short bio for your profile (typically around 140 characters) and a longer bio with more details about your practice, protocols, etc. If you’re not sure what any of that means, Kinkly has a lot of great information for you to read through, starting with that linked page. I cannot stress this enough: use the search bar. Use it liberally.
If you come across a term you aren’t familiar with, copy/paste it into the search bar. Use the search bar on r/findomsupportgroup. Google the term with “kink” or “BDSM” and see what pops up. That is what we mean when more experienced Dommes tell you to “do your research”. Go read up on what you are getting into. Go learn. It will help you accurately craft your bios and persona. If you can’t do that, you aren’t cut out for sex work, least of all findom.
Your Short Bio
You’ll want your short bio to include a couple of quick facts about you and your style. Platforms such as Instagram may need you to use less direct phrasing (don’t put “I make porn!”). You can say “18+ performer” or “Content Creator” or “Fiscally Dominant” depending on what it is you want to be doing. If the platform doesn’t have a specific spot for links (where your link management space will go), you’ll want to make sure you have enough room in your bio to paste the link there. You will want this link to be on every single profile you make.
Your Long Bio
You should have a longer bio 1-2 paragraphs-ish to use when you have more space or in a pinned post on the platform for easy reference. This should offer more information about you, what you do, and/or your practice as appropriate. If you want examples, I encourage you to visit my pages (linked in the footer) to see what I’ve done, as well as check out some of my moots to see how they’ve done theirs. Don’t copy/paste. Don’t steal other’s stuff. Use it to inspire you and as a loose outline for how you create yours.
Now fill out your profiles. Save these bios in a google document or Notion page so you can easily find and copy/paste later if you need them.
Step Seven: Graphics & Media
Create a profile pic, a profile banner, and a watermark. You’ll want to have your bio handy to reference for the vibe, and ensure that everything fits. If you’re saying you’re the world’s meanest, cruelest goth domme… a picture of you in a pretty pink princess outfit may not be the best option for the aesthetic (unless that is your literal thing! Then go for it!).
While you can be in some state of undress in these, it’s best to avoid nudity so that you can use this safely for all sites. If you want to make nude versions for sites where it’s appropriate and non-nude ones for places it isn’t, that’s fine. But to start? Just make one you can use everywhere.
Start with one profile pic so that’s consistent across all platforms, or use slightly different versions of the same pic (slightly different angles or coloring) so that it’s recognizably the same account owner at first glance.
I’ve seen Dommes recommend changing out your profile pic every month or so to grab new eyes. I think this is a great idea, but recommend that you change it across the board to match, or at least on the platforms you are actively using at least once a month. Consistency just makes things more recognizable at a glance.
Watermarks
As for your watermark, it takes an extra step or two to get this put on every photo you put up, but it’s important to watermark your things! I use Canva to watermark my items. This ensures that if it gets stolen or posted elsewhere, it’s still linked back to you (you’ll want the watermark to contain your stage name) and can’t be easily used by catfishers pretending to be you. If you want more information on why watermarks are important, here’s an article.
Step Eight: Guide To Posting
Start posting! What should you post? Things that reflect you and what you’re after. Post about your Domme philosophy. Post pictures. Engage with other Dommes. Talk about your passions. Throw in occasional posts about your payment methods or platforms.
Show your personality, show us who you are, and make friendships with other creators! Supporting one another will help you grow naturally and also makes the whole community worth it. Sex work can be lonely, hard, and underappreciated. You need to have people around you who will have your back, support you, and bitch with you about the subs and fans who are being idiotic assholes. The community aspect is good for your soul. My first $50-$100 in sends as a Findomme were all from other Dommes having their subs send to me, being pulled into games with community subs by other Dommes, etc.
You want to be surrounded by others who will help promote you through real engagement, be a support system, and also be people you can bounce ideas off of. Just make sure you’re showing up for them, too, and giving back in what ways you can. You may not be an expert now, but you can ask for their advice and offer engagement on their socials in return. You can bring up things you find or notice when you have them. Engage and create community.
Autotweets
You can turn on autotweets within some of your sites, but be careful on platforms like Twitter that will shadowban you if there are too many autotweets compared to original tweets and/or links and mentions. It’s good to have a few auto-tweets to ensure you don’t forget to advertise specific platforms, but if it starts shooting off posts constantly you may want to consider if it is overwhelming your page and feeling spammy, in which case you should adjust the frequency.
And Beyond
Guidance For Continued Success
For more platforms and resources you can utilize in your journey, check out my Referral Links You Need To Be Successful page. That page also includes links to resources (such as Athena Bastet’s Findom 101 program) for ongoing education in BDSM and Kink practices, as well as guides for learning more about navigating the industry safely and successfully.
Make sure you learn about and understand consent in a dynamic. You should not be bullying submissives who have not consented to that, or demanding money from them if they aren’t consenting to enter a Findom dynamic with you. If you don’t want lurkers on your page, block them. You can reach out and let them know you have an unblock fee (if that’s something you want to do) but don’t push for them to send anything to you. Just block them and move on.
If you find any of this information helpful, utilizing the referral links in this article and the Referral Links You Need To Be Successful page is much appreciated, as are any tips you feel inclined to send as a thank you for these resources.
Updates To This Guide In The Pipeline… (Bookmark This Page)
- Expanded section on consent for dynamics
- How to “find” subs
- Reasonable timelines for success
- Nudity: yes or no?
- Explicit content recommendations
- A guide to time-management and platform scheduling
- A guide to content management
- Guides to making the most of specific platforms such as Bluesky.
- Findom versus Dominatrix versus Content Creator… which one are you really?
- Taxes – NOT OFFICIAL TAX ADVICE